Thursday, March 13, 2014
Those were the Days.
Back when I was young, people came to our house to sell things.
All kinds of things.
Everything from all varieties of food to food storage products to pots and pans to insurance for when the food made you sick cause it had been stored to long or cooked to badly and you had to go to the doctor.
We felt safe letting all these people into our homes too.
Not like today where you have to chase someone down and beg them to take your money at the mall for you new socks even though the last time you were there you had to shoo the sales team away by yelling, 'Ten seconds, just leave me alone for ten seconds, I can't even think and you stepped on my foot!"
divulge every secret number attributed to your person in order to buy a product online for $4.99 with $15.95 shipping and then recieve 6,432 emails about your item, your receipt, the shipping, the sales they are having, their other companies, their surveys and what the company guy with the tape dispenser had for lunch.
So what about the gun??.
When our insurance salesman came to our house the actual gun from the picture was sitting on my family's living room side table.
He sat down and exchanged pleasantries then noticed the gun on the table and immediately looked alarmed.
He then looked back to my mother and I sitting on the sofa.
He then verbally asked if what he was pointing at was a gun.
My mother replied that it was. (never thinking that he should clarify the question with "real", "bullet using" or "adult".
There is now even more alarm appearing on the insurance mans' face.
Now to know my mother you would know that she thinks in vague, foggy terms and thinks everyone else does too.
Such as :
"What time is it , mother?", 'Oh, it's tenish"
Or "I need you to go to the store and get those 'thingys' we like with porkchops."
Or "Do you remember where I put that 'thingamajig' I had on Tuesday?"
Therefore since she 'knew' it was a toy, he would also 'know' it was a toy. No explanation needed.
The insurance man asked if she thought it was a good idea to have the gun laying around with children in the house.
My mother replied that it was fine and that each of her children had one.
The insurance mans' alarm is at DEFCON 4 and we are all aware of it now, so with eyes bulging he asks if the gun is loaded,
where upon I pick up the gun to check and he vaults out of his chair with his briefcase held in front of his vital organs and is ready to report my family to the authorities after and if he manages to escape our home with his life.
My mother who realizing their has been quite a misunderstanding reassures our insurance man that the gun is just a toy, a cap gun and that I was just checking to see if there was still any pops left on the roll.
She consoles him with an offer of some sweet tea and tells me to go play in the other room while she pays her premium and he quickly leaves.
Now I surely enjoyed my cap-gun and the lovely aroma it had when I played with it before this day, and in the man's defense it is very realistic looking, but now it was TOTALLY AWESOME and that is why I still have it.
And that is how my family single handedly helped get rid of home delivery visits and services and helped pave the way for the malls and the internet.
Thanks for reading!!!!
Also for another take on this incident please check out my sisters post and blog at:http://ifyouarehappyandyoudonotknowit.blogspot.com/