Monday, April 18, 2016

Hair of the Dog

During my fairly long life I am pleased to say that animals have been always been a part of it.
A wide variety of scaly, feathered, slimy, furry or hairy animals adorned my home and I over the years.
But today's post is about the hairy ones.
Currently there is nothing in this house that doesn't have at least one animal hair on it or in it.
Even after sweeping, mopping, showering, dusting and doing laundry there is no escaping it.
When headed to the Post Office or during the Christmas season there is at least one animal hair stuck to every piece of tape on every box, package, gift or envelope.
It is 'Cousin Itt' craziness.
Lets not even talk about the numbers of animal strands of fur that might be swirling around in the air and land in the skillet at dinnertime.
But to my family's credit they have gotten used to it and consider it a normal part of the daily fiber intake.
Well, all except one family member who has changed his tolerance level now that he has a job where he must interact with people of hairless influence on a daily basis.
This family member, my son, got all huffy the other morning about why he "couldn't even get dressed without dog hair every where!"
I can't imagine.
There have been pets in the house since his birth, some of them his, and now their daily offerings are a source of irritation.
The animals can't stop shedding and I can't clean hardly ever fast enough and now it's my fault that his pants, that were laying on the floor hours ago, are covered in dog hair.
A thousand pardons my liege.
But despite the hint of sarcasm he actually has a valid point.

Just to be clear, there are 200 pounds of animals (well 575 pounds total, if you count the son and the husband) in the house this very minute that leave evidence of their existence ever single hour of every single day and I am just not aware of anything that can stop the hairy carnage.
Except for super glue hair gel or a live in housekeeper, both of which would be a temporary quick fix but predictably irritating and expensive.
I can't even process a solution with a rational thought.

I looked up 'Hair of the Dog' after I wrote the title of this post because it sounded so familiar and the definition is... appropriately enough... " "Hair of the dog" is a colloquial expression in the English language predominantly used to refer to alcohol that is consumed with the aim of lessening the effects of a hangover."

Thank-you Wikipedia and British shows on Netflix.

So learn this my son, just like liquor, some things in life last a very long time and can only be remedied by more of the same.

Let us drink and raise a toast to dog hair.

Thanks for being here.

Hair of the Dog.
With a hint of Persian cat.