Monday, May 8, 2017

Getting Out of Bed Should Count as Exercise.

Trying to get enough exercise is only a problem for some people.
Like the people who decide what counts as exercise.
The folks who make up the charts and such.
The 'people' telling me what counts for exercise on my score sheet have entirely too much power and do not seem to really know what actual day to day 'exercise' is for every day people.
I'm not mad about it though.
Wait a minute...
Yes, I am mad about it, so it should count as 'angercise'.
60 calories burned.
I'm tired of being written off for the actual, real-time, hard work-physical fitness stuff that I do each day (although according to exercise experts, being tired...of anything...means I am not doing enough exercise or just being lazy, so zero calories burned).
My insurance company 'suggests' I wear a pedometer (which I do) and keep track of my daily activity and earn points/dollars towards fitness equipment (and I'm not talking about mops and scrub brushes kind of my fitness equipment).
I get no credit for:
- 6 loads of laundry complete with drying, folding and putting away = 45 minutes on the stair least.
- Vacuuming the living room, bedrooms and hallway...twice because of the dog hair = 20 minutes on the rowing machine...not including the sneezing fit.
- Cooking, shopping, loading and unloading the dishwasher...twice a day = 30 minutes on the stationary bike...without benefit of TV distraction.
- Weed whacking and/or mowing the grass = 1/2 marathon at least because we live in the gosh darn mountains.
- Pulling up actual weeds, gardening and trimming the freaking yard bushes = easily a full hour of hot yoga...with no relaxing background music.
And imagine the calories burned and the exercise you get when you have children to take care of and chase after on top of the aforementioned other chores!
No, lets not imagine it cause I did my time with all that and I am grateful those days are kinda over.
Only kinda, because I still take care of my grandson and after he leaves I feel like...a very unfit, physically over active, exhausted, old person.
So why don't I get credit for that?
The types of exercise my insurance company apparently only counts is:
1) Running on asphalt till your feet blister and bleed because not all of us can afford $200 running shoes to make it bearable or
2) Paying hard earned money to use expensive equipment at the gym that is covered with gross drippy sweat from people who only work-out for the spandex or
3) Professional aerobic type classes that make the rhythmically challenged of us move like we intentionally walked into a room full of spiderwebs...for entirely too long.
I work hard in my own way and that should count for something.
So I make it count for cookies and quick naps in my comfy bed that I then have to force myself to get out of again.
And YES, getting out of the bed each morning or naptime deserves massive amounts of credit in my humble physically fit opinion because life is hard and people who are brave and strong are the ones getting out of their comfy bed to tackle the tasks of life, for zero points!
So, insurance policy writers should pay us to have maids, cooks, child care providers, yard crews and gardeners so that we have the time to perform all the 'proper exercises' they require because they can't begin to understand how the rest of us stay in shape by actually doing ordinary daily tasks as part of being healthy and alive.
Seems fair to me, but I don't want to think about it anymore.
Writing this post has been exhausting and I am sure I burned a ton of calories in the process of it but I do it all for you my faithful readers, with no regrets or exercise points.
I'm gonna go take a nap or eat a cookie... maybe both.

Have a lovely sweaty day!

Yes, really.

Thanks for being here.

This post makes it sound like I clean a lot.
Good one.

I do not. :)