Friday, July 8, 2016

Too Much Pain...

In my blog I usuually try to keep things light, upbeat and generally silly.
There is a reason and a survivalist mentality to that approach.
I am easily overwhelmed and sometimes feel as if I would rather die than bear the weight of the sorrow I feel when I hear about the wickedness and meanness that other humans render on other humans such as has been in the news the last few days.
My heart breaks and my soul withers when I read tragic news snippets that appear on my phone or computer of some person deliberately causing pain to another person.
Yet it seems that pain is the balm we repeatedly use to assuage our own pain!
Has pain, misery and death ever been the best and fastest path to resolution?
If it has, I have never heard of it.
Or seen it.
I have never heard any stories passed down through the generations about the benefits of human destruction being the enlightened pathway.
Life is hard.
I get it.
I've lived it.
I know it on a cellular level.
I also know that LOVE is the ONLY thing that helps us survive.
That helps us cope.
That heals our wounds and lets us see clearly into another day.
But you knew that.

Thanks for being here.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

You Might Actually Like Me When I'm Angry

I have not posted anything for a while.
I think it's because I stopped being angry.
Well, stopped being quite so angry.
Well, no, I tried  to stop being quite angry.
I never was the screaming, kicking, yelling, ram your ankles with a grocery cart angry,
Just the simmering, I hate almost everything so don't even look at me, angry.
When I'm angry, stuff just blurts out.
That is actually the not so secret motivation behind this blog.
But anger also contributes to high blood pressure and the need for medicine.
Which is yucky in and of itself, so I am trying to not be so angry.

For me anger is like the frothing gadget used to make cappuccinos and it makes your anger emotion as well as most of your other emotions get fluffy and bubbly and then those expanding emotions need to squeeze out of you somehow so that there is enough room for vital organs, garlic toast and blood, making you feel compelled to write a blog post and get something, anything, out of you so that there is some space left in your body and brain to remember to brush your teeth and stay alive.

I could be wrong though.

But since I stopped being quite so angry I have found that I am now apathetic.
When I'm apathetic I don't even care if you care about what is going on in my life or what I think about stuff.
And then I don't care that I don't care if you care.
Apathy though, I am learning, is a mostly stupid attitude and accomplishes nothing but NETFLIX binges and too much garlic toast, but I also think it's contagious.
So I stay to myself.
I certainly don't want you, my beloved readers, to catch Mostly Stupid or Apathy or both! (although internet news leads me to believe that there is quite an epidemic of both going around)
Maybe someday I'll build up an immunity but it seems that anger is my cure.
Anger means that I care a little bit.
Anger means that I share my feelings (hahaha...sure it does)
Anger means that I post words on my blog.....
I must be getting better!
I'm blogging!!!

So I can now assume that anger is probably not so bad if it helps me engage with life.
But people are in my life!...
Lots of them!...
Spreading anger with ease and abundance.
"Who drank all the milk?"...
Why aren't my keys where I left them?"...
"You used ALL the garlic?"...
"I just cleaned this up!"...
"You need how much money?"...
"Where is the remote?"...
Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like.........
Wait a minute...

There is no garlic so now I have to eat this?...
Some crazy person got to this before me and destroyed the bag because...??
The delicious snack food is now stale, leaking out and falling on the floor and I haven't even started to snack!
Who does this?

Family is the best medicine for when you need anger to make you care again.

Thanks for being here.