Domestic 'Gourdess'

If you are sitting at your computer as you read this then that sitting is probably a very good thing.
I shall reveal to you today that I am NOT a clean freak.
Shocking, I know.
While my mother was of the mind that things must be dusted, vacuumed and wiped down on an almost a daily basis, I am a branch that has fallen far from the tree.
This branch fell, made a mess and stares at it daily, but will not get around to cleaning it up till later.
I'm sure my neatness rebellion resulted in the fact that my sister and I were the domestic caretakers for our mother.
We whined, we complained, we grumbled but to no avail.
My mother has the ability to shut off her ears to anything she finds not to her liking...except cussing.
She can hear a curse word four miles away....that was whispered.....in Swedish).
So I am also quite sure that she never heard our childish malcontent.
I have done so much cleaning in my past that ANYTHING else I want to do as an adult is way more important.
Anyway, my lack of tidiness lately is only a cause for concern because of my impending grandchild.
I CAN NOT have a scooting, crawling, everything in its mouth child in my home.
Why now?
I found a pumpkin seed on the kitchen floor.
In July.
There has not been a pumpkin in this house since October 2012.
And even then I don't recall it being a REAL one...with seeds !
So who is to guess when that seed made its appearance.
And why wasn't it cleaned up?
Seriously?
I can't even guess.
I am kinda, almost ashamed.
I raised 4 kids with my housekeeping skills and they are all seemingly well adjusted, healthy and productive members of society.
But this kid will be different.
It is not really mine.
I can not have it going back to it's parents needing a nap with filthy knees and pumpkin seeds stuck to its face.
Or can I?
It is not really mine after all......
I am just its adoring grandmother (re-mom).......
Problem solved.
I have to go now.
There is a spider web in the corner that needs some ignoring.





The future??



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Never in a million years..........

I have long hair.
Almost to my waist long hair.
I like long hair.
I flat iron it.
I highlight it.
I pick at split ends.
I get it tangled when the car windows are open or when I fluff my pillows and turn over in the bed.
It gets caught in my armpits, my bra straps and my glasses hinge.
It is quite a bit of work to take care of long hair.
It is quite a bit of NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS will I ever cut it and perm it and have "usual" grandmother hair !!!
I was told over 20 years ago that I was too old to have long hair.
Of course I was feeling old cause I had never been that old before, so I believed them and cut it.
It was new and easy and I liked it.
For about a week.
I tried the perm.
I tried the layers.
Nothing I did helped me get over the regret I felt for cutting my hair.
My pledge to myself after that week was to NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS cut my hair short again.
No matter how old I become, it will not happen.
And thats OK.
Re-moms are different these days.
They listen to heavy metal.
They drive a bit over the speed limit sometimes.
They have tattoos.
They have long hair.
I grew up believing and experiencing that if you were a grandmother, it was a proper and required to have short, gray, curly hair.
But the real, true test and constant re-mom characteristic is that they love their grand-babies to pieces !!!!
LOVE, Love, Love !!!
They can't wait to kiss and hug and spoil those babies !
Long hair, short hair, curly hair, shaved hair.
It's all good and doesn't matter a toot to the babies.
Any hairstyle will do.
I am hoping that the thing that truly matters to being a good re-mom is love.
Lots of love.......for a million years.


Regular mom with regular baby. Jurassic Period-Mesozoic Era.


Re-mom with chicken baby. Quaternary Period-Cenezoic Era.


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Must..re..sist,....temp...ta....tion,..too.....strong.......

OMGsh..

Yes, it has happened.

Re-mom twilight zone.

I see cute things.

Baby things.

Re-mom things.

They are orbiting in my world. They say "Look at me!, Look at me!" "Buy me!, Buy me!" I see them every where !!

Here are a few :


1) Saw this and LIKED it ??? Thought it was sweet. I wanna BE this Granny? What ??



2) Saw this on pinterest. Loved it !! Wanted to buy it already but the etsy artist was sold out. Already ??



3) Know I HAVE to have THIS gadget ! Wanted this when my kids were little!!!! ALL of them loved a rocking chair. This one is for Re-moms on the go ! Able to make a rocker out of any chair !



4) Or how about this ?? All things grandmotherly !?!



Looks delightful, but not for me.

Anyway, I notice Re-mom stuff and Re-mom stuff notices me. It was inevitable. Kids are great all the time, so I will begin the assent into grandchild temptation..........


Pray for me...............


(I can't stop !)




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Egg hunt in June.

When I think of my growing grand-baby, I of course get excited but that excitement is also met with trepidation !

-Will it like me ?

-Will I remember how to do all the necessary baby things ?

-Will I have any energy to DO ANY of the necessary baby things ?

-Will I have the energy to do anything at all ?

-Will my daughter even trust me with the baby anyway ?

After all, I'm old and tired and on the internet writing a blog...........

But as I pondered these trepidations and walked the dogs around our woodsy trail (multi-tasking at its finest!), I came across an Easter Egg !

It still had a prize in it........ 27 cents !!!

Nice.

How could my kids have missed this one ? It was right on the leaves !

Kept walking.

Looked down and saw another one !

It still had a prize in it........$1.00 !!! And it was only slightly moldy !

How did my kids miss this one too ?

Putting it in perspective, my children are all adults. It's not like they are 10,9,8 and 3, falling down, spilling their eggs and running to mom and dad about it !

We still have an Easter Egg Hunt every year though, to remember past glories and triumphs of Prize Eggs containing $10 or $5 or of pushing each other to the ground and stealing ALL their eggs while they lay on the ground actually wounded !

Who wants to forget that ?

We have such fun that we also have a Turkey egg hunt on Thanksgiving !

More chances for prize eggs and flesh wounds !

The grand-baby is gonna love it !

And the fact that she/he can come over to Re-moms house 2 1/2 months later and still find treasures makes me think it might not be so bad !

My worries are for naught.

I got this.

Kids LOVE Egg Hunts AND Band-aids !

I got this !


(The third egg is one Re-dad found a few days earlier !)



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It's all about the verbage...............

Last Sunday I was surprised and excited to find out that I was expecting my first grandchild !

It is so exciting, in fact, that I can not sleep, get a bad cases of the 'what-if's", and can barely bring myself to tell people about it !

It is the verbage.

My Mothers mom was a fabulous grandmother but she had white hair the minute I remember her.

I have seen pictures of her when she was young and she was gorgeous with black hair and a lovely smile.

And while I don't have white hair or consider myself a knockout, I don't consider myself old !

Old is Galapagos tortoise old, pyramid old, dinosaur old, even universe old !

The word grandmother is almost a synonym to the word 'old' in my mind.

Not older...... but OLD !

How will I avoid this?

I will be a 'Re-Mom'.

Like recycling my motherhood.

It is my 'green' word for grandmother.

Just taking care of and enjoying kids........AGAIN.

No age involved. None.

Re-Mom........ I like it !

Phew.

Dodged that bullet. I feel better already.

Lets go eat cereal, watch some cartoons and then build a sheet fort.


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