Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Night Time is the Bright Time.

Being a grandmother gives me the opportunity to take care of my grandson a couple days a week.
This involves getting up before most of the world and driving in the dark.
Which here in the mountains involves darkness that is v e r y dark.
Except when I'm behind a school bus.
Don't know what they have in your area, but we have buses that have a white strobe light on the roof that is bright enough to send a signal Mars.
I can only assume that it is to prevent other vehicles from crashing into kids or the bus itself.
Makes sense.
But only a little, because it is a freaking blinking nightmare that makes me drive all angry and squinty eyed while trying not to have a brain spasm as the intermittent flash penetrates every cell in my body.
I thought bright blinking things were banned as a result of the 1997 Pokemon anime that gave children seizures.
Not banned in this part of the world apparently.
Well now school buses aren't the only ones with these death-ray laser strobes.
This morning I was behind an emergency vehicle for 5 eternally long miles and it had not 1 but 5, count 'em, 5 blinking lights flashing in my newly awakened face.
Let me tell you gentle readers that all I could think of was "Don't crash", "Don't crash", "Look at the road", "You can do this".
Well that's not all I could think of, but my 'don't swear in public' rule, is pretty imbedded in my psyche and I don't want to burden you with my potty mouth.
Are folks driving and behaving so well that emergency vehicles are out for late night/early morning drives trying to drum up business?
No, that can't be the reason for the 'Lights of Craziness'.
I have known several EMT's and firemen and they really are a caring bunch.
Do that many people mistake emergency vehicles for just a regular vehicle and therefore they can crash it if necessary?
What is the world coming to.
The end of the five mile stretch was now in sight and the strobing vehicle was turning left and I was going right.
Just in the nick of time too, my brain was starting to melt and my will to live wanted to drive off the side of the mountain.
So I look over to see if it was an ambulance or a fire truck.....
It was a garbage truck!?!?!?!
A what?
Yes a garbage truck.
For One thing...How can the workers see the garbage when it is pitch black outside.
For Two things...Garbage will still be there when the sun comes up. Most of my garbage is pretty stationary.
For Three things...We are now protecting our garbage?
Garbage collectors deserve many more accolades and dollars than they actually get and my family appreciates their work immensely, but I was almost turned into a veritable mental basket case driving down the road while trash was being protected in a strobing vehicle of immeasurable lumens.
I'm all about protecting our kids and folks in the service sector but is 'Pokemon Shock Syndrome' the way to go?
Do people really not see the other 14 red and yellow lights placed all over the back of these working vehicles.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe nobody talks about this interstellar vehicle signaling, brain disrupting, cartoon inspired system because after a certain sequence of blinks your memory is wiped of everything that happened for the last hour.
I'm just guessing.

Thanks for being here.

Psychotic Alien Inspired Warning Technology


  1. Let's just say - hypothetically - IF aliens were over run with 'trash' on their planet - what better way to get rid of it than to trek it to earth in the guise of a - oh let us say - 'school bus' or 'garbage truck' or 'emergency vehicle.' Who is going to question any of them with their flashing lights and mind altering strobes! Early morning too! Of course! No one believes things they see at the crack of dawn. Just saying...

    HYSTERICAL!!! Thanks for posting!

    You are absolutely correct!
    How could I have missed it!
    You my friend need a job with NASA.
    ......Still chuckling over your comment......Too funny.......