Thursday, October 22, 2015

Slow Down Time but Shorten Your Life Expectancy.

If you are reading this and you want to know how to slow down time down a bit
then just sit outside...near the woods...in the dark...by yourself...watching for meteors to fly by.
Each minute is long and terrifying.
It's like watching the movie Alien for the first time.
You know that the main character(the Alien) is gonna suddenly appear at any second but you can't turn away or close your eyes because if you do then there was no point in paying money to endure the torture.
Meteor showers are free but it is still the same type of torture and suffering, when you have to be alone in the darkness.
The sounds occurring in the dark night are unnerving but you endure them because the main character(the meteors) could appear at any second and if you go in the house then what was the point of getting up so early.
Maybe I like space because Earth has things that are creepy, crawly and curious but I can't escape from them or even move because I'm tangled up in a freaking blanket that is wrapped around my feet making it impossible to make a fast getaway when and if an alien animal ventured out of the woods and scared the bejeebus out of me.
There is something attractive about space though that makes me endure this life sucking, nighttime, outdoor fear, possibly because the universe doesn't make menacing noises that could make a person soil herself.
So I wait.
Trying to be an adult.
Searching the skies for the next piece of burning space debris to fly by my little treeless viewing hole that lets me connect to the great beyond.
And I wait.
Noise.
Just a branch falling?
Noise.
Was that closer?
If I look around or turn on my flashlight then I might miss a shooting star because I will look away from space and blind myself.
Be very still and if it is a bear and I don't move then maybe he'll go right past me.
Two noises?
Should I go in the house?
Maybe this is the wrong day?
I have to go the bathroom.
Where are all these meteors they were talking about?
I've been out here forever.
Let me check my phone.
It's been 3 minutes.
What?
I can't see.
OK. Eyes in focus again.
Hey, There goes one!
Not too big, but I'll take it.
Waiting.
There goes a satellite!
This is awesome!
I'll wait another little bit.
Noise.
Dadgum, what was that.
Noise.
Bug in my face.
Noise.
Please God, can't I be invisible when I need to be.
Ooooo. There's another meteor!
Excitement makes me brave and I wait some more.
YES! There is another one.
Noise.
That was too close.
Ok. That's enough.
Go in the house and make coffee.
I'm alive!
I saw 3 meteors and a satellite!
I gave up my sleep and body warmth but it was worth it!

It's been 15, maybe 20 total minutes.

Sheesh

Thanks for being here.

The next show is the Leonid Meteor Shower.
Peak time is November 17-18th
No aliens please.


The woods near me has some terrifying wildlife.



2 comments:

  1. Priceless. Truly priceless. I go through that every morning when I am in the hot tub - which is locked inside of a screen porch!!! Noises - always noises. Am I really safe behind the screen?

    "What was that? Was it a coyote or a deer? If the coyote runs fast enough could he run through the screen door and take a chomp out of me? Maybe it was an owl. Wait, what was that?! I need to turn around and look to see if someone or some THING is slipping it's hand through the screen to try to unlock the latch!! I should have brought my gun! What will I do????? Oh, wait - what the heck - it was one of my cats."

    But the terror is real my friend, very real - every morning...Loved this post!!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank-you for understanding!
      It is always nice to know you are not really alone.

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