A Shark By Any Other Name...

Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo....

Is it me or have humans lost their dadgum minds?
And not just from a cute kids song that says in our mind all day.
In so many situations we, as a human species, don't know what to do in a certain situation so we think death is the answer.
Why the heck is that our go to solution?
Interstellar aliens in your city?
Kill them!
Animals smart enough to escape the zoo?
Shoot them!
Healthcare that is crazy expensive?
Expendable humans!
Sharks minding their own business swimming in their ocean tasting a human?
Kill them!
And since we're not sure we have the right toothy perpetrator, how about killing all the sharks in the area because we can even though they are just doing sharky type things?
We have to murder them or at least annihilate something to show we are protecting human life instead of just telling people, DO NOT SWIM IN THIS AREA!!!!!!

What got my dander up was the following article about an attack in Australia.
*** Shark Article. ***
If you don't want to read it, and like for real, who has that kind of time, it is about two guys who got bit in Australia and then local 'authorities' and that is a generous title, killed 6 sharks because 6 starts with the letter s, like shark, which makes no sense either, so I'll stop.

We all saw this same weird death resolution thing happen in the movie JAWS.
Sharks were killed out the wazoo but not the shark.
It scared the bajeebus out of us but didn't change our slaughtering tendencies.
So we keep doing the same thing?
Everyone knows that inspiring quote:
"If you want things to change then keep acting like a goob"
Pretty sure I made that up.
But shark execution makes me sooooo angry!

There is a balance in nature and humans have a great track record of throwing things off balance.
We just keep doing stuff like we have things figured out, but we don't.
We are guessing.
Every dadgum decision we make is basically a guess.
A guess!!
Some are more educated guesses than others but they are still guesses.
So maybe we should stop trying to be know-it-alls and treat the world and everything in it with a bit of care and kindness.
All things are here for a reason.
We may not know the reason...YET, but there IS a reason.
A REASON!

Ok.
I'm done now.
I had to get this chunk of stupid 'news' out of my brain and share it with you because a person can only carry around so much stupid every day without going crazy.
Well, crazier.


Thanks for being here.


Family shark video.
Sharks feeding right where we were swimming the day before.
Doing sharky things.
Ummm....

It's Kinda Bugging Me.

Insects.
Who doesn't enjoy watching a butterfly float on the breeze or a cute little lady bug scurrying around a leaf ?
Who among us has marveled at flickering fireflies over a fresh cut yard on a long summer evening?
Who learned about death while using a friends magnifying glass on an ant hill at high noon and in the same day spent the late afternoon attempting to squash mosquitos on itchy, bumpy legs that were already feasted on by the tiny blood filled biological devil drones?
Me. That's who.
This love/hate relationship with bugs will never cease.
Think about it...
No don't.
According to the Smithsonian Institution there are approximately 200 MILLION insects for each human on the planet.
Yeah, I said it; 200 million, 200,000,000, TWO HUNDRED MILLION.
They are so dadgum prevelant in this world that the following pic of my mostly finished breakfast proves that it is inevitable that you or I or anyone else in the world will eat a bug this week.


Bug body part.

Was this bug leg included in my cereal or is this all that is left of it?
Why does this post make you/me want to hurl?
Humans in other countries eat bugs all the time.
I do too apparently.
Don't know if the bug part is a bee leg from the honey I used, the remains of an entire creature or just a leg that fell off with a snap, crackle, plop into my cereal while circling a light at the processing plant?
All the options are queasy ones and yet I'm still blogging about it!
I am a menace to human sensibilities.
BUT...
I am a realist.
It is inevitable.
This is me just helping humanity ease itself into the bug eating future with actual evidence that bugs are every-freaking-where.
I share this post with you because I care.
About you.
About insects.
About food.
Bugs are everywhere.
Inside and out.

Thanks for being here.

P.S. No I did not eat the leg...At least that one.

P.S.S. I have eaten bugs at other points in my life and lived to blog about it.
See this post.
"Ate a Moth Today...or...Cereal with Benefits".


Closer view of bug leg in my cereal.

I Will Kidney Stone You!

There are all kinds of maladies in life.
Some are inconvenient, like ringworm, pink eye or having gas.
Some are annoying, like a paper cut, hangnail or having a husband with gas.
BUT SOME ARE FREAKING PAINFUL!
Like a kidney stone.
I had my very first stone experience yesterday.
For hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours.
Yes, 18 hours of complete and total suffering.
No sleeping, no comfort, no eating or drinking.
No anything except enduring.
I kept thinking things would get better, but no.
NO!
After a few hours of misery I beg to be taken to the Emergency Room, because that's where the drugs are.
They take your blood, your information, all your money and then give you some of their heavily guarded drugs because you are telling them you are in level 10 pain and about to spew on some shiny $150 Medical Professional Dansko shoes which is just not good.
So after a CT scan, the Emergency Room folks tell me there are 2 moving stones!
Not 1 but 2 freaking stones trying to leave my body because I had grown them so large you could make jewelry with them and they had to get out and be worshipped.
The Dr. said the stones were 7 millimeters and 8 millimeters which in 'American' measuring is huge and really huge.
He also said they were chasing each other down my ureter, which in 'Not-a-doctor' speak, is kidney tube that is made not big enough to be having kidney stones of any size racing around.
If you have never had a kidney stone then God loves you more than me and you are going to heaven.
If you have had one then you know for sure that there is a hell because you were at the gate and it is a vile thing.
So the drugs kick in and you think you might be alright and just when you begin to have hope again...the stones move.
Not just move but zoom to some arbitrary point in my renal system with Freddy Krueger gloves and Edward Scissorhand brand tennis shoes shredding up everything on the way.
The terror, the violence, the nausea, the pain, the complete helplessness.
I have heard the phrase "I will cut you" when people want to be threatening.
Threatening with the promise of pain.
That would, should and does scare me.
No doubt!
But please 'cut' me before you threaten me with " I will Kidney Stone you!"
It is absolutely grievous and dreadful and to be feared above most everything.
I am better now though and wanted to let my readers know they should drink LOTS of water every day so you all can avoid this unbidden body violence.

Thanks for being here.

P.S. Did I forget to mention that I still have a 6 millimeter stone in my kidney. So I really had 3 stones that meant me harm. The Dr. was kind enough to tell me the 6mm one could stay in the kidney forever or it could dislodge whenever it felt like it - because it is a crazy, evil beyotch.
Not really. He said everything up to the last 7 words of the previous sentence.
P.S.S. So I am basically a walking time bomb. It's the not knowing that is the trouble.
No, not really again. It is the fear of the pain that is the trouble.
No, not really again x2. It's both.


Cute baby cow that doesn't have kidney stones.