Monday, August 6, 2018

Yoga and Me.

Yoga.
Yoga used to be my friend.
It used to be fun and kind of relaxing as it gave me a physical workout without the aerobic stress of having to count my heart beats or support my unwieldy boobs in my hands as I jumped around trying to burn off calories that really had no other place to go anyway.
I liked yoga*.
Especially after Oprah had 'Yoga Guy' on her TV show to reveal to us yoga novices how blissful yoga could be.
That was 17 years ago.
Since then Yoga has, off and on, become important to me as a way to feel less blob like during whatever latest episode of manic, time to get fit mentality I am in or was in, (all of which admittedly were short lived episodes).
So anyway, I was looking for my old 'Yoga Guy' yoga dvd.
It was...
No where.
NO freaking WHERE!
Dagummitt.
So thanks to the interweb and its ability to replace things that are lost for a constantly rising fee, I decided to get another yoga workout video.
Well thank you internet, but you are a liar.
There is not an old version of young 'Yoga Guy' ANYWHERE!


'Yoga Guy'.

Just him, the sand, the ocean, music and 22 minutes of 'yoga'.
That's all I want.
Sure it is...
Focus please...
The only videos available have other people in them as well as equipment I do not pocess and lots of commercials, plus I find out that 'Yoga Guy' was a chick magnet and got in trouble and had to burn all his original yoga videos as part of his punishment (not really, but it seems that way) so the Yoga community moved on and amassed an incredible number of yoga styles that now require a suitcase full of accessories.
Various Yoga options include:
Hot yoga.
Acroyoga.
Bikram yoga.
Yin yoga.
Hatha yoga.
Cold yoga with sprinkles.
Blocks.
Cushions.
Rollers.
Oils.
Socks.
Goodwill bags to put all your yoga stuff in because you can't keep up with it all anyway.

I just don't get it.
I even have a fabulous daughter-in-law who is a certified Yoga instructor who could, in my opinion, slinky style her agile and limber body all the way down the stairs of the Lincoln memorial, in a crowd, with 2 dozen bells on and not even be noticed.
That is how 'yogafied' she is.
Her abilities are very impressive.
But not mine.
I can't even find a stupid video and my daughter-in-law lives hundreds of miles away.
Soooo...
I want to work out.
Truly I do.
But the evolution of Yoga has become a confusing, multi-leveled, complex activity that supports only the survival of the accessorized with a 17 year old 'Yoga Guy' video #1 on it's extinction list.
I guess I'll just go for a walk.
No video, instructor or accessories needed.
Sheesh.


Thanks for being here.

* Yoga. To capatilize or not to capitalize, that is the question?

2 comments:

  1. You forgot 'Goat Yoga.' Real thing, Google it. Baaaaaaaad idea, if you ask me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha!!!
      Goat yoga!
      I rest my case.

      P.S. Do they call it Yogoat? :)

      Delete

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