Thursday, June 28, 2018

Sleep. "You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means."

Good morning people!
I got my full 8 hours of sleep in 4 hours and 20 minutes last night.
Rested and ready for the day I am!

Just kidding.

I am rested and ready for the day if the day only lasts till about 11:30 am.
Then I'm gonna need a nap.
Or 2.

If I were a Doctor, (I play one on my blog) I would diagnose my condition as Brainiculus Hyperactivicosisallnightlongica, which is Latin for: A brain that won't slow down and give it's human a full nights sleep even without caffeine all day, a deprivation which is barely tolerable by the way, along with attempts at exercise meant to wear the brain and body out which also doesn't work and is really only suggested propaganda by the stretchy-comfy clothing industry."
This is a rough translation because my Latin translator app doesn't translate medical terms very well.

Brain during sleep.
The video was taken because the bee behavior was so adorable but all that insect activity and flitting around is just like my brain in the wee hours of the night.

I am attributing this sleeplessness to my age and the fact that my brain knows its getting close to its final shut down with each passing day so it has to cram all of it's enthusiastic activity into every minute before it becomes worm food.

But between my exuberant brain's two lobes there should be at least some gray matter that tries to talk sense to me, "Give it a rest already, the neighbor didn't wave because she hates you, maybe she just didn't see you, plus you only get 7 more times to go over the internal video of the bird that flew in front of the car today and just barely survived" and "No one should drink that much juice so it doesn't need to go on the list because if you add it to the list now, the light from your phone will wake you completely and then you will have to get up and let the dogs out because they don't have watches and will want to go out because their human is up so it must be morning but if they go out they will once again bark enthusiastically at 3:00 am for 2 minutes and wake the neighbor who really saw you today but still hates you because you almost hit a bird and she is a bird watcher (or are the binoculars more sinister?) not because the dogs bark for 2 minutes in the middle of the night which she probably never even hears because she has a normal brain and is asleep at 3:00am, so forget the juice and the fact that now you have to use the restroom which isn't actually restful at all and just go back to sleep."

Thank you gray matter.
At least you tried.

Thankfully though, I do get some sleep and I wake up every day.
For that I am grateful.
And for coffee.
I am also grateful for coffee.
Since going without it didn't help me sleep, I shall not deny myself the lovely caffeine particles that coffee effortlessly provides.
Hello cup number 3!

Take that dreamland.

Thank you for being here.
Sweet dreams!


Rachelle Culpepper said... little sleep, how much coffee, and what drugs did you do before you wrote this? This post is a true testament to a Hyperactivicosisallnightlongica brain. And because I play a doctor in real life since I worked for some for so long, my recommendation is: take 2 sleeping pills and post again in the morning. :)

Sherry said...

Do you take insurance for this house call?