Well today, thanks to the creativity and restlessness of nature, I would like to share one more of those 'things'.
Yesterday, my lovely daughter and I plus our 4 dogs,
(4, count them, 4 dogs who absolutely have no business being mentioned on this blog post because they spent the entire day doing random dog things, none of which was protection mode or scary growling at upcoming perils or even toothy barking because they sensed the presence of creepiness)
started out on a lovely walk in the woods...
and THEN the humans noticed this....
AAAaaaaawwwwww!!!!! Zombie Apocalypse!!!
AAaaarrrgghhh!!! Stop with the Zooming!!!
Make it Stop !!! Too Close!! Too Close!
I am in the woods every ordinary, freaking, non-zombie day and have never noticed this zombie skull of doom staring at me before.
It's eyes followed me until I turned a bend on the trail, all the while calling out the imminent death possibilities and trying to seem nonchalant about it to my daughter.
But I was obviously rattled and a bit panicked when my daughter gently calmed me by
So now I am a nervous zombie droid hating idiot in my child's eyes as well as in the hollowed out eye sockets of the mostly dead, scary, lurking, droid, forest zombie with dinner on its mind.
I just kept walking.
Much faster walking, but no running for cover or brain preservation movement at all.
Why?
Because...?
Running would alarm the dogs?
My daughter would then know I'm an idiot?
The dogs noticed n o t h i n g !
Oh yes, I could have crossed the creek and checked it out, but why take a chance?
I had 4
In my mind.
Nothing worse or more ineffectual than a startled, struggling, picture taking "cause no one will believe me", timber droid, forest zombie hater who panics and can't climb trees or run fast enough human that makes protection of anything a moot point.
I was also assuming that we were mostly safe because zombies can't cross water.
Or is that ghosts?
Or demons?
Not sure.
Don't care.
Not sleeping for a week!
I made it home and wanted to share this with you before things get ugly.
Well, uglier.
I'll let you know if I am brave enough for an update.
Thanks for being here.
BRAVE UPDATE:
Today, I got brave.
Went back to the woods to face the droid forest zombie and show him or her who's boss.
Silly me.
The forest zombie head was just a piece of junk thrown down a hill a bunch of years ago, sent to haunt me in this present day.
Stupid garbage + Stupid zombies = A sleepless 24 hours of fabulous speculation and imagination.
Zombie Garbage
Thanks again for being here.
With your intact brain...and eyeballs in your eye sockets.
“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Did you ever think that perhaps the zombie - because I believe the original pictures were indeed that - a zombie skull - decided your brain was just too LOVELY to eat so he decided to pull a ruse. His ruse is a devious one - he decided to hide himself when you came back to check things out by throwing old junk he hoards in his lair where you had first seen him. He peeps around trees to make sure you see that it was seemingly nothing. He chuckles as he knows YOU believe the coast is clear for other traveler that will now pass by thinking they are safe. He doesn't care if they are man nor beast. You leave and he relaxes, laughing to himself, knowing dinner will be passing by soon.....
ReplyDeleteBeware my friend. Things in the woods are not as they seem....
Did I ever think....about zombies? Lord have mercy NO! Let alone a zombie worried about the loveliness of my ancient scrambled gray matter?! Your comment is a fabulous thought to think, but a zombie that actually pauses to plan things is taking zombieness to a whole 'nother level!!!!
ReplyDelete