s l o w l y....I....g e t.....it......

The other day as I was driving around completing some errands on my list, I came upon on a turtle crossing the road.
He was in the oncoming traffic lane pumping his little legs quite fast, like he was practicing his cheetah moves.
'He' because if he was a she, I was unable to detect toenail polish for summer feet as I drove by and gender is not something easily or accurately detected otherwise.
Anyway, I was worried for him - for I am a turtle rescuer - and I wanted to stop, pick him up and put him in the woods in the direction he was going, but I live in the mountains.
In the mountains there is usually a hill up one side of the road that is 45 degrees or more and a steep drop off on the other. A cliff, shall we say?
That is where the turtle and I were.
No place to pull over and no stopping in the road cause we (he and I) were in a sharp curve, in the mountains, in the woods, in the late afternoon, on a mostly busy road.
Dang it.
So I kept driving, saying a quick prayer for his little turtle brain. A prayer that he would tell himself repeatedly to "Keep moving quickly and cross this dang road!"
I truly pondered finding an alternate route home so I would not have to see his cute little reptilian body squished on the pavement.
THAT is the kind of confidence I have in my turtle prayers.


Not my turtle.

As I continued my journey, I started thinking of the people who might run over him and I got madder and madder and MADDER!
"Who would kill a poor turtle?"
"They can't help being slow!"
"You are a mean person and I hate you!"
"No, you're not mean, you are, a bully!!"
"A dadgum Bully! And I hate you even more!"
"You probably go out of your way to kill opossums and other woodland creatures! Maybe even swerving to hit stray dogs and kill yard birds scratching by the road."
"I am blaming all the roadkill in the world on you!"

My jaw was clenched and I'm sure my blood pressure had soared.

Then I got angry at the turtle for making me feel so helpless!
"I did not need to see you."
"Why didn't you cross at some other time of day?"
"Why here of all places?"
"What the heck do you need over there?"
"I don't want to see you dead.
"Don't do this to me!!"

AAAaaaaarrrrggghhhhhh.............

OK. So now I'm at my destination.
The incident is put to the back of my brain and soon, poof, I don't think of it at all.......
Except, as I pass the 'turtle zone' on the way home, because I forgot the alternate route.........
Dang it!

?????????????????

No turtle!!
No squishings!!
No spots on the road!!
He made it!!!

I was mad for no reason!
He was a smart turtle and people are good!
No killing today!

I arrive home in a great and elated mood.
Now, what should I have for dinner?
Chicken, beef or ......?

Dang it....

Thanks for being here.
Have a non-death kind of day!