I found out today that my sweet dog has cancer.
How do you process something like that and remain a workable human?
Eva has been a gentle gift from the moment we decided we needed her in our family.
I don't deserve her.
My brain cringes with guilt over the times I scolded her to hurry up or to get out of the way or to stop begging for snacks.
What was the hurry?
Why didn't 'I' get out of the way?
And who ever in the world can have to many snacks?
Eva never goes far from home.
Eva worries about the other dogs in the family and lets me know if one of them is still outside or stuck behind some other closed door.
When we take our daily hike, Eva waits patiently for any stragglers before she continues on the path.
Did I mention I don't deserve her?
Eva weighs 104 pounds and tries to do things that she sees the little dogs doing.
Eva tries to be a good girl in everything we ask of her.
Eva doesn't push her way out or in the door.
Eva has never trampled her way to her food dish and will wait patiently for her bowl of boring, every day the same, dog food.
Have I told you I don't deserve her?
Eva loves a good scratch around the ears.
Eva loves to swim on hot days.
Eva loves a nice walk in the woods.
Eva loves me.
Eva loves most everyone unconditionally.
Eva loves our family and her giant wagging tail lets us know she does whenever we make eye contact or join her where she is.
Eva could easily bite our faces off, but chooses daily to refrain, thus making her one awesome creation.
Eva is the best of the best.
I have never deserved anything as precious as she is, but am ever so grateful for the grace of the world that gave me such a gift.
The doctor says except for the fast growing mass, she is healthy right now.
Sheesh.
How is that fair?
But I guess it also means that she still has time to play and run and eat scrambled eggs and squeeze out some good times while consuming copious amounts of dog snacks and then opt for a bit of sleeping after some slow easy belly rubs.
Eva totally, completely and in every other way deserves every good thing.
The challenge is before us.
Together we will will bark at the darkness.
Thanks for being here.
Eva
Fun times with Eva
I posit that that I have have never known a dog more deserving of YOU. You deserve her in more ways than you know. She has never once thought you were impatient or unkind. She only views you as a person that accepts a giant dog as a perfectly acceptable lap dog. That is a small pool of people to choose from. Dogs are a real life vision of God's love. She does not remember scolding, or times we were impatient, or treats that were not bestowed. They only remember the good. Please only focus on the good - for that is all she will remember. My heart breaks for you. I cry with you. But please do not think of when you thought you let her down, because she has no recollection of any of those times. She only remembers the love. Love trumps everything.
ReplyDelete
DeleteThank you so much for your beautiful words of encouragement and the love I could feel from you while reading them. The sentiment is a brightness in a sad week. I hugged her and told her it was from you.
Heart.
Wow. 'Unknown' really shows us the face of God. I have no other words, except as with 'Unknown' my heart breaks for you and cries with you. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughtful, loving comment is so very appreciated.
ReplyDeleteEva also enjoyed the extra hug and love I shared with her from you!
Thank-you.
Heart.