I really don't mind getting older.
It has been my destiny for many decades now.
But there is no way to adequately prepare for some of the inevitables.
My husband and I will soon be flying, on a plane, to go visit my son who, in my mind, is living in a far off place riddled with barely enough food, only cold places to sleep and bad guys waiting behind every shadow.
It's only up north and in reality he is well taken care of.
But I have to be certain...and the only way to get there and check in a timely fashion is to fly.
On an airplane.
In the sky.
With only one tiny suitcase.
But what about all the stuff I need?
-Like my favorite blanket?
-Or my favorite pillow?
-The foot lotion?
-My book that I started and want to finish but probably won't?
-The giant, fluffy coat that would keep a polar bear toasty but I can only wear for about 15 minutes because I get too hot but when it's cold outside there is nothing better?
-The entire bedside table full of things I need sometimes, but not all the time, but can only sleep because I know they are there if I need them because if I do need them and don't have them then I have to get out of bed to get them and I will be up all night because the wood floor is cold on my feet and wakes me totally up with a jolt and then after I get the needed thing and get back to bed I'm grumpy-sleeping which is not restful at all only because I wasn't prepared enough which is what will happen when I take this trip because I can't bring everything I might need and the stuff I do bring is all the wrong stuff and so I spend a week worrying about how to not worry and try to plan ahead so that I actually DO bring the right stuff and by the time we leave I am exhausted and wonder if this is really a good idea, but this is my son and he needs me?
He's a full grown man/boy and doesn't need anything except extra cash.
All the time.
But once I get somewhere I am always/usually/rarely glad I got out of the house.
It just takes so much planning and preparation (H) though because the body does whatever it feels like doing anyway no matter where or who you are and you never know what will be necessary due to the fact that traveling magnifies all the needs of the human body and old people already get a bad rap for existing.
All this stress so I can just try and NOT be a typical old person.
But I'm going anyway.
I will be brave, traveling light and feeling vulnerable
Off (in every sense of the word) I go into the wild blue yonder.
Thanks for being here.
Here is a quote from 'What About Bob' that sums up my brain today:
Bob Wiley: Well, I get dizzy spells, nausea, cold sweats, hot sweats, fever blisters, difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, blurred vision, involuntary trembling, dead hands, numb lips, fingernail sensitivity, pelvic discomfort.
Dr. Leo Marvin: So the real question is, what is the crisis Bob? What is it you're truly afraid of?
Bob Wiley: What if my heart stops beating? What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find it, and... my bladder explodes?
This quote from 'The Jerk':
Navin R. Johnson: Well I'm gonna to go then! And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything. Except this.
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: And that's the only thing I need is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need.
Both are an accurate summation of my brain function.
Young me on a trip when all I needed was my dog and a walking stick.