Friday, December 5, 2014

Understanding a Gift.

I have not discovered the Fountain of Youth or become a giant Redwood tree but including this year I have celebrated 245 Christmases with my husband.
In dog years that is.
We have had a dog or dogs most of our entire married life and consider it an honor for them to leave muddy paw prints all over the house be in our lives.
Every day is Christmas for a dog and dogs are easy to buy gifts for.
Give them one tennis ball or several, new or even badly used, and they celebrate with wild abandon, as if no one ever gave them anything else before.
Husbands are a bit more discerning and although they are very much like dogs, I have used up every thoughtful and creative gift idea in my universe during our 245 Christmases together.
I am totally not inspired to shop for my husband because if he wants something he usually just buys it himself.
So doesn't that means he has everything he wants!?!?
If I actually do think of something that would be a fun gift then it is usually about the same price as a new Lamborgini, and we all know bloggers have bags of expendable income generated by thousands of advertisers and loyal readers.
That is our reason for blogging.
Not because we are trying to type away our stress or perhaps psychoanalyze our day to day world, hoping it will in some small way, make a bit of sense.
Pppfffftttt. Whatever.
Back to husbands and dogs....
Both are laid back and easy going.
Curled up on a nice comfy chair or sofa, they both fall asleep in seconds and snore loudly.
Hmmm...Got enough chairs and sofas.
Both eat just about anything.
My husband however, does not just barf on the carpet if he eats too much.
Hmmmm...Got enough food.
They both leave their stuff everywhere because they are easily distracted........Squirrel.......
Hmmmmm...Got enough socks, hats, shoes and yard animals.
Both sleep ALL OVER the bed.
Arms and legs in every direction and both dogs and husbands will strangely try to snuggle even closer to you if you push an arm, leg or tail out of the way, so you just give up and try to go back to sleep in an unoccupied space about the size of a bandana.
Hmmmmmm...Got a bed and plenty of blankets.
Not to mention the amount of hair that is shed by husbands and dogs.
And husbands don't take kindly to a good lint rolling on their chest to gather the excess.
Hmmmmmmm...Got LOTS of lint rollers, vacuums and showers.
Both dogs and husbands are fun to be around and happy most all of the time with a "Glad I woke up, what are we gonna do now?" attitude every morning.
Hmmmmmmmm...Got enough coffee, mugs and projects around the house.
Husbands and dogs are just happy to be noticed and have a companion to play with, seems like to me.
So much in common..... except....
Dog gift = easy.
Husband gift = aaarrrggghhhh... or....
Maybe I'm thinking of this gift thing all wrong.
Maybe I can't think of the gift because ANY gift would be considered G R E A T.
Because for dogs and husbands most every day is like Christmas when you have the balls to celebrate with wild abandon.

Merry Christmas.

Thanks for being here.

The Husband.


  1. I LOVED THIS POST!!! I laughed with wild abandon! Do you know what I want for Christmas??? More time with you!! Hmmmmmmm.....your husband and dogs already have that - lucky carbon based units!!! Wait, dogs are carbon based, right???

  2. LOL!! You are hysterical!!! I'll have to keep blogging just to read your comments!!!!

  3. Hmmmmm, or is it MEN I am confused about being carbon based units instead of dogs? You just never know about men...ever.

  4. This is hysterical! I love it! "every day is like Christmas when you have the balls to celebrate with wild abandon" hahahahahahaaha