Monday, July 1, 2019

Carbing It Up...

Carbs.
Yummy, delicious carbs!
Pasta, bread, beans, doughnuts, rice, chocolate etc. etc. etc.
Where I am in my life, geographically and physically, is a place that is FILLED with folks on the Keto Diet.
Maybe you have heard of it?
If not please Google it and find out that Google has millions of ideas for the best way to Keto diet.
But in a nut shell, it is a diet where carbohydrates are the devil.
(Carbohydrates = sugar and starches)
A person on this diet will eat lots of meat and a short list of everything else in the world that contain few or zero tantalizing carbohydrates.
And people around me are definitely losing weight.
And I am happy for them.
Glad they found something they enjoy.
Or do they enjoy it?
In my fluffy, food and carb loving mind, I'm not sure that it sounds appealing.
There are just too many delectable cookies in the world that need my approval!
I have been slim.
But only because food was scarce and I was poor.
It is not ideal.
Things are different now.
Phew.
So let's get on with the snacking!
Plus, with the attitude I have right now towards a whole lot but not all of humanity is who am I going to impress by being trim?
I am a gray haired woman with no sexy accent and very little money.
That makes me basically invisible.
So do I really need to work hard at choosing what I consume to impress people who rarely impress me?
I would actually like to see if something so easy would work for me as effectively as it has for everyone else, because with each passing year, you become a 'fluff' magnet and even looking at recipes will add several ounces, but also, I am a vegetarian and the thought of screaming, bloody then dead animals due to my vanity does not in any way persuade me to become a size 6.

No meat for me thank you.
No mashed potatoes for me, but wait...
No cookies, NOOOoooooo.
So now what?

No diet!!

No apologies!

I like what I like.
I do what I do.
I eat what is delicious.

Carb. It. Up!

I am healthy, mostly happy and take no meds.
There are no applications for space travel, no riding a horse in the Kentucky Derby, no desire to live in a tiny house and no inclination to spend vast amounts of hard earned money for a new skinny person wardrobe on my bucket list.
So let's get on with life!

Enjoy some good food!
Laugh, play, eat, work, have a cup of tea, laugh again, send a love letter and then eat some more food because it's yummy.

Thanks for being here



Carbohydrate Assortment



Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Do I have to......?

Life is hard.
But is it THIS hard?...


Too much effort?

Again, life is hard and there is no one, except humans under the age of 5, who would argue with that statement.
When you are 5 years old, you are loud enough to scream about anything that bothers you and helpless enough to get all the humans older than you to tackle your most frustrating to do or not to do list.
So when us older people have an issue with something, we don't scream, we just make sure the rest of humanity KNOWS we are upset.
We use curse words.
We lay on the horn.
We get on Twitter.
We act like babies thinking someone will fix things for us.
AND
We refuse to walk 7 extra steps to put a cart in the cart corral.
WE??
Do I have a mouse in my pocket?
No.
Talking mostly about the person that constructed this picture.
Seriously.
Listen lazy human:
I understand that you just got done walking about 3 miles through an entirely too large grocery store to find Frosted Flakes and Spam which drained you sooo entirely that walking the cart to it's place, 7 steps behind your car, was not an option. Your blown out ankles could never make it, so you just push it to the side of your car, saving 3 steps because you already did the world a favor by spending your money at this particular store which OWES you many favors anyway because you graced it with your presence.
WE GET IT!
You are telling the world, "I don't have to". Loud and clear.
You're an adult, numerically at least.
Life is hard and you don't feel any obligation to put things back in their place.
It's not your parking lot or your shopping cart or your job to be nice.
But there it is.
Be nice.
Being nice is NOT hard.
Your thoughtlessness affected at least 3 people.
1) The person who has to collect the carts strewn about a 4 acre parking lot.
2) The person who wanted to park in the place where you dumped your cart but can't because your cart is in the way.
3) And me. Watching schmuckiness manifest itself on a lovely summer day and wondering if I had shopped longer would the wind have shifted the cart into my headlight?

It didn't.

I just needed to vent.

Most people are nice and I am glad to know you, or at least know you're out there.

Thank you for being here.
Be nice.
Please.
Take the extra steps.
It's easy.



One of those days...

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Caturday. Flavored Water?

Meow Meow is an indoor cat.
Through and through.
Meow Meow hates the outdoors.

Or does she?

I caught her drinking from the bird bath recently and had to get a pic.
She could absolutely care less about birds, gardens or fresh air and she has a full water bowl in the house, but for some reason a sparkling birdbath with a hint of feather flavor was irresistible.



New species of catbird in the garden.




"What?" "Who me?"
Meow Meow on the birdbath.

Just made me smile so I thought I would share.

Thanks for being here.


Monday, May 6, 2019

Everyone has a creeper. No, not that kind.

Hello cherished readers.
Depending on your age you will read the title of this post and think many things.
But....
I am not a mechanic so I don't have that kind of creeper.
My hands and thoughts are no where near my privates so it's not that kind of creeper.
No botanist here so this isn't about vine type growing plants that, you know, creep.
And I am not a feline so there is no creeping up on unsuspecting chipmunks, ankles or sleeping dogs.
BUT...
Old Age IS a creeper.
And it is any kind of creeper you want to think it is!
It is a sneaky bugger and as a human I am oblivious to my own susceptibility to the creeping habits of Old Age.
The last 3 days I have felt ancient, old and decrepit.
Which is apropos because I am on vacation in the oldest city in the USA.
It is my dang holiday and things w e r e going good.
Good food, good place to stay, good weather, nice bike rides and walks on the beach.
Then..... KABLOOIE.
Please, just let me lay on the sofa for 6 hours.
Please, just let me go back to bed and take 3 naps.
What.
The.
Heck?
It's like Old Age has been stalking me for days and days just lurking in the shadows until I least expect it...
Then Old Age POUNCES!
Takes me down.
Lets me know who the boss is and who is in control.
And I submit because, dadgummit, I AM old and have no choice but to surrender to the takedown skills that Old Age has honed through the centuries.
Sheesh.
I thought I was strong.
I thought I was healthy and reasonably fit.
I went down like a baby.
My body is feeling a tiny bit younger today and mostly ready to finish this post the rest of my fun vacation like a once upon a time 40 year old.
No, 50 year old.
No....
Nevermind.
Keep moving.
Nothing to see here.
----
I can do this.
You can do this.
We can do this.
Just let Old Age THINK it has the upper hand.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Go with the flow.
Stay slippery with sunblock or tanning lotion, get wet from some beach and/or pool water, keep greasy from all the delicious fried vacation food because according to my illogical logic, it will keep Old Age from getting a grip on you!

This shall be the plan.


Vines That Creep but are Not Creepy.

Thanks for being here.

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Caturday. Taxes.

Taxes don't you just love to pay taxes?
Who doesn't?
Giving a mostly ineffectual government 25-30% of our hard earned dollars to spend even more ridiculously than I can?
Who needs to pay rent?
Who needs 3 meals a day?
Who needs candy necklaces to munch on during the afternoon nap time slump?
Who needs pet food so the domesticated wildlife we bring into our homes can remain happy and loyal?
No one, I say, No one!
Well..... except Mongo.
Mongo, the cat who finds the box of receipts, pay stubs and various other tax necessities a comfortable place to vent her irritation that more of the families money is being shared with the government and NOT on more cat treats, cat food, comfy cat beds and cat pleasantries.
A cat who is bravely trying to prevent more financial leakage.
Her quiet tax protest is just adorable.
After all, we still have 2 more days.
2 more days!?
Cats.
Echoing the human/cat sentiment of "I'm supposed to do...what...when?"
"Silly humans."


Mongo. Financial Advisor.


Have a lovely almost tax day weekend.

Thanks for being here.

Friday, March 1, 2019

Art and Death.

If you listen to the news in any media, then you are undoubtedly aware that EVERYTHING will end you or at least try to.
Our very existence on this planet is a miracle and since 'the other side' is a mystery, I was mesmerized by the following blog that powerfully exhibits aspects of death in artfully hewn grave markers as well as the resulting stone carved emotions of those left behind, in a collection of posted photographs.
It somehow offers a bit of solace.

European Cemeteries.

The Europeans definitely take cemeteries to a whole other level and this blog shares that with readers.

All the blog authors' pics are magnificent.
All of them.
The photographer, Martin Seigling, has the ability to blend his camera work and his subject matter smoothly and empathetically.

The beauty.
The skill.
The interpretations of death.
The pain of loss.

But one of the grave monuments in the most recent blog post made me catch my breath and I had to share it.

Tell me what YOU think.


European-cemeteries.blogspot.com
Death is grabbing him and this guy is pushing him away!

He will NOT face death.
Won't even make eye contact.



European-cemeteries.blogspot.com
His face is silent, strong and perfectly obstinate.

This guy was NOT having it.
Death was going to have to work hard for this one.

Thank you Martin Siegling for posting.

A Satchel Paige quote came to mind when I saw this:
"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."

Thank you for being here.
Carpe Diem

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Who is the wild animal?

There are 4 dogs in my house.
2 big ones and 2 little ones.
They get along just fine and besides being dogs and doing dog things they also have the heritage of being descended from wolves.
What a noble heritage it is!
Also, what a scary heritage it is.
Somewhere deep in their DNA they have the desire to run free, the need to chase things and the ability to bite my face off.
Thank goodness they like a good back scratch and occasional treat more than listening to their mostly buried instincts.
But the point is, and I seem to always take the distracted way of getting to that point, is that they have super sensitive hair and if they don't see me and I touch them to give them a pet, they jump.
I don't intentionally mean to startle them, but it does amuse me.

Because I am a doofus and not a dog.

Their sensitive reaction puzzles me too because I have NEVER ever hit my dogs.
They get verbally scolded and/or squirted with water when there is a 4 dog ear splitting bark frenzy in the middle of a phone conversation, but hitting a dog was, is and never will be considered.
Like I have mentioned in past posts, dogs are a gift and we really don't deserve them.
But it always tickles me that they are startled by humans.
We make them nervous?
Uummm...remember the wolf relatives?
I don't recall reading about any humans that chased wolves for fun or bit wolves or hid behind trees to scare them.
Humans are scary though.


Baxter the Boxer

This morning when I bent down to pet Baxter the Boxer as he relaxed after breakfast, his whole body jumped in surprise when I reached over the chair to pet him.
He is 90 pounds of pure muscle and pointy teeth but my elderly, hippie, pajama clad self surprised him so suddenly that I felt bad and had to apologize pet him.
Then I giggled quietly like the silly human I am.
I mentioned earlier that it amuses me but then I feel guilty.
I forget that sometimes dogs sleep or daydream and are occasionally NOT in tune to every smell, rumble, noise, footstep and squirrel chitter from 50 feet away and that I should BACK OFF and keep my hands to myself!
Such a daft human.
The dogs though, still act like I am the dominant animal of their group.
That assumption on their part however is completely flawed.
The ONLY thing I can dominate is cookies fresh out of the oven.
Dogs are the ones that should be on pedestals.

My humblest apologies to the canine community for my need to touch you and love on you and snuggle you.
You are all F A B U L O U S !!!!!
Humans, not so much.
We homos sapiens are the wild animals.
We are the species that needs to be domesticated and work at becoming enthusiastic examples of unconditional love.

Thank you dogs for your presence in the world!

Thank you for being here.


One of these things is not like the others.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Eva.



I found out today that my sweet dog has cancer.
How do you process something like that and remain a workable human?

Eva has been a gentle gift from the moment we decided we needed her in our family.

I don't deserve her.

My brain cringes with guilt over the times I scolded her to hurry up or to get out of the way or to stop begging for snacks.
What was the hurry?
Why didn't 'I' get out of the way?
And who ever in the world can have to many snacks?
Eva never goes far from home.
Eva worries about the other dogs in the family and lets me know if one of them is still outside or stuck behind some other closed door.
When we take our daily hike, Eva waits patiently for any stragglers before she continues on the path.

Did I mention I don't deserve her?

Eva weighs 104 pounds and tries to do things that she sees the little dogs doing.
Eva tries to be a good girl in everything we ask of her.
Eva doesn't push her way out or in the door.
Eva has never trampled her way to her food dish and will wait patiently for her bowl of boring, every day the same, dog food.

Have I told you I don't deserve her?

Eva loves a good scratch around the ears.
Eva loves to swim on hot days.
Eva loves a nice walk in the woods.
Eva loves me.
Eva loves most everyone unconditionally.
Eva loves our family and her giant wagging tail lets us know she does whenever we make eye contact or join her where she is.
Eva could easily bite our faces off, but chooses daily to refrain, thus making her one awesome creation.

Eva is the best of the best.

I have never deserved anything as precious as she is, but am ever so grateful for the grace of the world that gave me such a gift.

The doctor says except for the fast growing mass, she is healthy right now.
Sheesh.
How is that fair?
But I guess it also means that she still has time to play and run and eat scrambled eggs and squeeze out some good times while consuming copious amounts of dog snacks and then opt for a bit of sleeping after some slow easy belly rubs.

Eva totally, completely and in every other way deserves every good thing.
The challenge is before us.
Together we will will bark at the darkness.

Thanks for being here.


Eva


Fun times with Eva


Saturday, January 12, 2019

Caturday Post. Lava.


"This is the only safe surface right now, hurry I know the way!"

Cats don't like to lay on clutter free cleaned off surfaces.
A cat has to be on something added too or covering any household surface.
There is the primary surface such as the floor, the table, the counter.
There is the secondary surface such as anything that is on top of the primary surface.
Examples:
A jacket that fell off the hook and onto the floor.
Empty boxes. Size or place does not matter.
Books, magazines or newspapers sitting on the kitchen table, that you are possibly even in the middle of reading.
Computer keyboards that you are possibly even using.
Sheets you just took off the bed and were going to immediately put in the washer once you got the pillow cases off but now you can't do anything because the cat is curled up adorably and sleeping like an angel in like the last 47 seconds so you have to do something else while she gets a nap, like make the bed with other sheets from the linen closet, but you really don't want to do that because then you will have to fold the cleaned sheets that the cat is sleeping on now instead of taking them out of the dryer and putting them straight on your bed, thus, making the delay in the laundry timeline thrown off causing the sheet washing to NOT be finished in time for making a clean bed by bedtime because by 8:00pm even brushing your teeth is exhausting and making the bed then is equivalent to attempting a 12,000 foot mountain hike in winter, wearing only flip flops. Thank-you, NO.

Not even one cat hair will be touching the primary surface, because every cat seems to think that the primary surface is lava and only the secondary surface supports feline life as we know it and is safe to inhabit.

It's probably true.
I remember playing the lava game and jumping from chair to sofa to chair to sofa...repeat 697 times.
The floor was completely avoided due to the threat of a fiery death until a parental unit heard you and your sister laughing loudly and told you to "Cut it out this minute!" and you did till you heard the parent walk away and then you tried it a few more times until your mostly quiet combined sisterly snickering kept escalating and the punisher came back and threatened 'NO TV FOR A WEEK!'
Lava game over.
For this day...

Cats don't care.
Viva la Lava!
Life is a game to a cat.
All day every day!
Every surface must be tested, dominated and tried out by a cat.
I haven't even mentioned when cats join you while you are sleeping and you wake up coughing because the cat thought that your neck and face were comfortable, warm and lava free.
Purrrrrrr.

Thanks for being here.

P.S. I blame my cat on the condition of my house. There is stuff on every surface so that my cats won't stress about the lava.

Yeah, that's it!

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Godzilla Holiday.

Sending you a Christmas Card!!!

Godzilla Christmas Nativity

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS!

To share some festivity,
Godzilla's activity,
becomes a nativity,
to stomp negativity
into positivity!

Love you and stuff!

Thank you for being here and have a fabulous season!




Godzilla Christmas Nativity


P.S. You can see the original post here.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Caturday Scatching Post...Fur.

I have 2 cats.
I mentioned that factoid 2 Saturday posts ago, here.
One is a small short hair rescue who likes being outside most of the time, runs from everyone in the world (except me), enjoys her food and when she is happy enough to purr, she drools.
(A lot like me - including the drool part.)
My other cat is also a rescue who stays inside all of the time, thinks every one on planet earth exists only to snuggle her, pet her, love her and adore her.
She also has very long hair...
Which she leaves ALL OVER THE HOUSE!


Long hair rescue cat.

To look at my house you would think that we have a gateway to the Roman Coliseum and some of the fighting started early leaving hair as an aftermath.


Cat hair deposits.
This is only a small sampling and 2 days worth.


Please know that she is healthy and happy and curled up on a warm dryer as we speak.
Fully clothed in all her fur.
Maybe licking and dropping off her fur is her way of not puking hairballs?
She just spits it out from between her teeth?
Is it old age natural hair loss like the rest of us who when we actually look at our clogged hairbrush consider the option that it is now possible to count the hairs left on our heads?
Does she get lost and think that by leaving lots of little hair dumps through out the house she will easily find her way back to the food bowl?
Stress is running amuck at my house like a wild yak and maybe the cat looses hair because she can't make a batch of cookies to help herself calm down?
Her only cat solution to any of these issues is to pull her hair out?
Who knows the reason?
I can't think like a cat and to be honest, it seems too hard to try.
Cats have the equivalent of a feline Doctorate in Human Manipulation, without the worry of a student loan.
With this education, they have learned skills to help them receive food, affection, healthcare, maid services and unlimited hair care.
All for free.
They just have to exist.

Sheesh.

I feel like maybe I should start taking naps on top of the warm dryer.

Gotta start somewhere.


Thanks for being here.



Watching the room near an old fur ball.

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Caturday Scratching Post

Having 2 cats of my own and a sister who has 4, I consider myself somewhat of an informed human on various things feline.
Also, Dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs are also kind of my thing but neither my sister or myself have one, except the plastic variety, of which I have many.
Enthusiasum for 2 live cats and 80 plastic dinosaurs brings me to the reason for this post, and being Caturday I wanted to share an interesting picture I came across that my readers should definitely see and ponder.


Cat.
Drawn as if the bones had been discovered during the age of dinosaurs.


Pretty awesome actually.
I like my furry versions, but scales could work too!

Below is another common animal.
See if you can guess it before looking at the subtitle...


Swans.
Also drawn as if their bones were thought to be dinosaurs.

This is the webbernet article here (or click a picture) if you would like to see more interpretations of some modern animals as dinosaurs and since Dios de los Muertos just got finished, I thought a bone reference/post would be nice*.

Personally, the article seems like a bit of a dig at the artists who interpret bones, but come on.
Artists are awesome and so is their work.
Art is an interpretation.
And even the most scientific hypothesis is really just an educated guess.
So I'm guessing that cats can generally be interpreted as interesting and lovely pets.
In any condition.

Thanks for being here.


*Nice as in... "Nice? Could you not use another word?"