Caturday Post. Lava.

"This is the only safe surface right now, hurry I know the way!"

Cats don't like to lay on clutter free cleaned off surfaces.
A cat has to be on something added too or covering any household surface.
There is the primary surface such as the floor, the table, the counter.
There is the secondary surface such as anything that is on top of the primary surface.
Examples:
A jacket that fell off the hook and onto the floor.
Empty boxes. Size or place does not matter.
Books, magazines or newspapers sitting on the kitchen table, that you are possibly even in the middle of reading.
Computer keyboards that you are possibly even using.
Sheets you just took off the bed and were going to immediately put in the washer once you got the pillow cases off but now you can't do anything because the cat is curled up adorably and sleeping like an angel in like the last 47 seconds so you have to do something else while she gets a nap, like make the bed with other sheets from the linen closet, but you really don't want to do that because then you will have to fold the cleaned sheets that the cat is sleeping on now instead of taking them out of the dryer and putting them straight on your bed, thus, making the delay in the laundry timeline thrown off causing the sheet washing to NOT be finished in time for making a clean bed by bedtime because by 8:00pm even brushing your teeth is exhausting and making the bed then is equivalent to attempting a 12,000 foot mountain hike in winter, wearing only flip flops. Thank-you, NO.

Not even one cat hair will be touching the primary surface, because every cat seems to think that the primary surface is lava and only the secondary surface supports feline life as we know it and is safe to inhabit.

It's probably true.
I remember playing the lava game and jumping from chair to sofa to chair to sofa...repeat 697 times.
The floor was completely avoided due to the threat of a fiery death until a parental unit heard you and your sister laughing loudly and told you to "Cut it out this minute!" and you did till you heard the parent walk away and then you tried it a few more times until your mostly quiet combined sisterly snickering kept escalating and the punisher came back and threatened 'NO TV FOR A WEEK!'
Lava game over.
For this day...

Cats don't care.
Viva la Lava!
Life is a game to a cat.
All day every day!
Every surface must be tested, dominated and tried out by a cat.
I haven't even mentioned when cats join you while you are sleeping and you wake up coughing because the cat thought that your neck and face were comfortable, warm and lava free.
Purrrrrrr.

Thanks for being here.

P.S. I blame my cat on the condition of my house. There is stuff on every surface so that my cats won't stress about the lava.

Yeah, that's it!